...but the moment has been prepared for.*



Cheers to everyone who made cranking out this blog fun (you know who you are).

And, to everyone else, shame on you! (You know who you are, too.)


*Archive status engaged.*


*Variations upon "Is Britannia's Creature about to regenerate into Peter Davison?" duly noted. ;o)
anti_gravitas remains, and is BC's unnatural 'open souce (or sauce) successor', for any LiveJournal-based continuity freaks et putes. No need to sign up for it - entries are never locked. (It's for adults. Sort of...)

Yes, that Paul Newman:



http://www.getthebigpicture.net/blog/2008/9/27/paul-newman-1925-2008.html

Most hardcore poker players have read Peter Collett's The Book of Tells, but making Presidential hopefuls debate standing up does have some negative impact upon the respective candidates' circulation, and Senator John McCain is not a young man.

With that blink rate, however, and excluding other factors, he was mostly holding a pair of threes at best.

Courtesy of boingfeed.



Courtesy of inquisitr_rss.



Not in this picture: Threepio off-camera, laughing his gold-plated arse off.

http://www.getthebigpicture.net/blog/2008/9/26/nothing-says-kick-my-ass-quite-like-an-r2d2-backpack.html



http://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/detail/3190?category=mens (Via boingfeed.)





(boingfeed again.)

I've got another gig for "liveblogging" the McCain/Obama bullsh*t fest, but you LiveJournal people may want to watch out for this old f*cker's "emo moment" (with tears!) as the counter hits 06:49:43. tomorrow. *Nods.*

Edit: In fairness, the_huff didn't go overboard on the minute-by-minute deconstruction of the debate. This time. However, hit that feed link for some juicy fact-checking and video clip-based back-up.

...at The Luminaire, but they neglect to mention that Polly Scattergood's "big break" came via the slightly disturbingly-named Underage Festival (http://www.underagefestivals.com), and that her first single is based upon her poem:



Direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMgoksisAus

Emo? Much?

http://londonist.com/2008/09/live_review_polly_scattergood_the_l.php

Courtesy of helice:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/fashion/features/kiss-of-death-black-lipstick-but-not-everyone-is-a-fan-941300.html

___________________________

Kicking the Sherlock Holmes Fact-Checking Habit.

It's been an indulgence for over thirty years but, despite still physically wincing nearly every time anyone gets something wrong about the Canon in public, I've decided to finally draw a line under it all. Let someone else tell Colin Boyd that he's wrong, and that Irene Adler's name isn't "mentioned throughout" Doyle's series of Sherlock Holmes stories:

http://www.getthebigpicture.net/blog/2008/9/25/rachel-mcadams-joins-sherlock-holmes.html

___________________________

Elucidation.

A couple of you will already be familiar with this link, but I suspect that a few more may find it of interest:

http://www.downturk.info/10709-james-bond-soundtrack-collection-23-album-160.html

___________________________

And finally...



Again, courtesy of helice.

( Hidden Gem Easter Egg Number 12 )

Template not found: 201-ERR:download: session invalid

...is one of the very few things which pisses me off*.

;o)

However, let's counter the bad with some good:

http://www.downloadsquad.com/2008/09/24/iron-chrome-for-privacy-fanatics/

___________________________

Edit: Meanwhile, since it's inescapable, has McCain pulled a sickie "Blaine"?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/25/suspending-activity-when_n_129080.html


*Noted: "201-ERR:download: free ip limit reached" may be worse. *G*
Allowing for the fact we've gone global on this one, I refuse to accept that we're dealing with a f*cked file here, people! Pull together...stay strong!
Might've known it...cheers to the Russians. Again. ;o)

Via helice:

'ROME (Reuters) - A 25-year-old man who tried to kill a priest by stabbing him in a Rome church has told police that he did so after the watching the film "The Da Vinci Code" and believing himself to be the anti-Christ.'

More here: http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080924/tts-uk-stabbing-davinci-top1-ca02f96.html

In an unrelated incident (my Inboxes are rarely that exciting), someone else pointed out that the Cult of Dan Brown is now so slack that Cult members have taken to reviewing Eric Van Lustbader tomes:

http://www.cultofdanbrown.com

*Tumbleweeds.*

___________________________

Edit: Oh, and on the subject of books...

"What are you doing?"
"I'm scrapbooking."
"Yes, I meant apart from making up verbs, and turning a bit of a sad hobby into a national cultural statement."

Only in America*:

http://yalepress.yale.edu/yupbooks/book.asp?isbn=9780300126358

(Via boingfeed.)

___________________________

Tech-wonk Edit: Indian police trained to patrol the Internet...by Google.

http://www.inquisitr.com/?p=3901


*Where, I now understand, something called "quilting" also happens. It's just a f*cking bedspread. Get over it. (Or, indeed, under it.)

...as it means they won't have to mop up the post-Cabinet meeting bloodspots on the carpet from her cilice wounds any more:


Ruth Kelly's personal mission to re-populate the Earth must take precedence.
(She needs one more for a decent game of Tonk*: http://www.pagat.com/rummy/tonk.html)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7632778.stm

___________________________

Meanwhile...


I'm gonna f*ck you up bad.

First live debate on Friday: http://edition.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/

Update: Provided that McCain can stop being such a pussy...



Direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LsQoMZcxVdI

And since when was getting captured by the enemy "heroic"? You can do better...


*Maximum number of players is seven. Keeps it frisky.

..."a good kisser", according to the former model (and ballerina) he had an affair with in Rio in 1957.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/uselection2008/johnmccain/3069059/John-McCain-was-good-kisser-says-former-Brazilian-lover.html

Well, there you go, America.

Might as well make him your President.




Woo. Trick o' the light.

(Maria Gracinda Teixeira is 77. And still burning a wee candle stub for him, one suspects. Mister Rictus, on the other hand, is dead.)

Captain's Blog - Supplemental: I'm truly grateful for the responses to this post speculating about McCain's ability to perform the "wheelbarrow" and the "reverse-cowgirl", given that he's got that...thing going on with his arms.

This is what political debate should be all about.

_________________________________

Edit: "Comment reduction" is now operational.

If you feel that your comments on this blog have been unfairly reduced (for the purposes of comedic effect, imposed brevity, or other makes of sandwich toaster), please address your complaints to the LiveJournal gitwizards who don't know what they're doing.

Thanks.

[Woo. The screenshot went walkabout! Never mind, it was probably just one of those wacky little coding glitches they like to throw at the system to see if anyone's awake enough to notice. And someone was. Cheers to K for the heads-up...]

...suggests about fans of the Proms which is most disturbing:

"Names and addresses on a BBC mailing list have been exploited by hackers. The recipients received emails offering Viagra and Cialis and caused John Whittingdale, chairman of the all-party Commons Culture Committee to describe it as a ‘serious incident.' The names on the list were from people who had signed up to receive information on the BBC's Electric Proms event."

More here: http://www.scmagazineuk.com/Hacked-BBC-mailing-list-could-have-been-avoided/article/118280/

Meanwhile, Rushkoff has truly hit his stride on Boing Boing now:

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/24/open-source-everythi.html

(Note to the e-mailers: Cheers for your input and suggestions vis-à-vis the "transition" post. Long day - I'll get back to you tomorrow. Sorted. I make that three Gaffneys in total.)

_____________________________

Gordon Brown will be pulling some rabbits out of his hat today.

Unfortunately, some of 'em aren't very sprightly bunnies, and they appear to have been purloined from overseas:

"He will unveil plans to give up to £700 in computer vouchers to schoolchildren who cannot afford internet access."

Ooh, that's familiar (http://laptop.org and, more obviously, http://www.computersforschools.co.uk).

More "leaks" from his speech here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7630567.stm

Update: Highlights - if you can call 'em that - of the finished masterpiece here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7630567.stm

Summary: He knows who he is.

What a relief.

_____________________________

I think you deserve some soothing music...

http://www.discogs.com/groups/topic/158769

And here's one for the Bond fans (prepare for your scrollbar to switch sides, but don't worry - it's not all in Arabic)...

http://www.dvd4arab.com/showthread.php?t=361345

(Makes a change from Russian*, eh?)

_____________________________

Token Techie Edit: Let's take a(nother) moment to laugh (again) at people who bought computers crippled with Windows Vista.

Okay. That's enough. We're not into cruelty on here.

Another glimpse or two under the bonnet of Vista's successor, due out in final release candidate form next year...

http://www.ghacks.net/2008/09/23/windows-media-player-light/

http://news.cnet.com/8301-13860_3-10048142-56.html

And the jury's still out on this...thing:



Details: http://www.designlaunches.com/gadgets/instrument_laptop_beyond_2011_is_the_ultimate_portable.php


*http://muzicportal.ru/2007/05/08/casino_royale__expanded_score_2007_original_motion_picture_soundtrack.html

...Douglas Rushkoff is currently "guest-blogging" over on Boing Boing. His entire intro piece is amusing, and well worth a read, but this line in particular leapt out:

"It's hard to figure out how to make traffic flow in a city originally designed for cars..."

Yes, Doug. Try figuring it out for one originally designed for horses.

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/22/rushkoff-here.html

__________________________

Bonus item for astartesyriaca and others:



"A rare medieval cookbook is to be digitally photographed page by page and the results uploaded to the internet for gourmands around the globe to study."

More here:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2008/sep/22/10

__________________________

David Blaine to be suspended upside-down for 60 years!

Er, sorry. Make that 60 hours. It's not enough, is it?

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/rtrs/20080922/tts-uk-newyork-blaine-84c9cd5.html

...but if they did, Andrew Hallam would be hung out to dry and left for (Stanley) Fish food.

Your freshman English comp assignment: Sarah Palin's VP candidacy acceptance speech as a fairy tale.

http://www.nas.org/polArticles.cfm?Doc_Id=337

_________________________________

Edit: R.I.P. John Barron.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2008/sep/19/highereducation

...Sarah Palin's pastor.

Witch-hunter.

For real:

http://timesonline.typepad.com/uselections/2008/09/palin-linked-el.html

(Graham's entry about it: http://whythatsdelightful.wordpress.com/2008/09/21/mccainlinehan-2008/)

_____________________________

Edit: The rumours that Sergei and I banjaxed JournalSpace.com and JournalSpace.net, because we were fed up with that full-of-herself whiny Australian chick who looks like a bloke and just won't stop posting, are completely unfounded. Update: It's fine, now. Really. No harm done. *Snigger.*

Courtesy of someone else, here's that former BBC TV star without a personality bypass, or a licence to appear on crappy revivals of dancing programmes strictly aimed at middle-aged couples, and which used to be broadcast in midweek graveyard slots before the schedulers went mental...

http://www.lullingstonecastle.co.uk

Where "heritage meets cutting edge horticulture". Boo yah!

http://www.technoccult.com/archives/2008/09/20/anyone-know-where-i-can-find-goetic-glyphs/

pigsh1t4braynes: You sound like a student, and therefore I hate you. Go away.
...sexuallyfrustrated: IAWTC. What's more, I'd very much like to lick your balls. Anyone's balls. Balls in general.
lockedinthelibrarybymistakeandeveryonesgonehome: Omigod I so love your icon!!! P.S. Help! Does anyone know how to pick locks? I've tried Google and everything.
spitefullyresentful: I once slept with someone who wrote a paper about Goetic seals, so I feel torn between wanting to help you, and - plagued by my own flashbacks - hunting you down with the rest of the pack. Sorry if this isn't helpful. No I'm not. Oh, I don't know. Have you tried Google?
sneakystalker: I went straight to your user info and, because I have six LiveJournal sockpuppets myself, I think you're as twisted and f*cked up as I am. Go away.
onlyhere4thedrama: You're a Satanist! I bet there's something in the community rules about not helping you...
...unoriginalcrapartist: Can I steal your icon before this post gets deleted?
lazywoogler: Google! Wikipedia! Google!
...wikipedophile: Wikipedia is like totally awesome! Totally. And awesome.
footsoldier26: I've sent you a private message because I think you might be someone trying to wind someone else up, but they didn't make a friends-locked post about it beforehand, and now I'm confused about the whole thing. No wonder my lectures are shit.
helpfulsmartarse: Here are three links to relevant sites, and a slightly scathing comment about the state of postgraduate research skills, c.1990-the present day (probably using the word "Google" derisively).
desperatelyneedsfriends: Can I friend you?
clippedandabrupt: No.
constellationofmole: Nobody understands me. Do you know my father?
egomaniacallyinclined: I only want to talk about ME and MY experiences. Bow down to my uniquely solipsistic frame of reference NOW, damn you.
untenuredandsmelly: Can't you just use something else? Are you trying to impress us? You remind me of me, but if I say that on here then I'm dead.
...tenuredbutstillsmelly: +1.
......hiveminded: This. Isn't a proper sentence.

You're all

so special.


Magic Word of the Day: Generic.

...here's a story with a bit of everything in it - bar music, films, and art - including:

1. Evil Russian hackers.
2. One of my favourite newsfeeds.
3. F*ckwit MBA students.
4. SQL naffness.

http://www.scmagazineuk.com/BusinessWeek-hit-by-hackers/article/118197/

So, to take up the slack, here's a page of movie soundtrack links...

http://www.taringa.net/posts/794121

...and a wacky, artistic clock:


Er, Hawking isn't actually wired-in to the thing. Although if he was, that could be hilarious on the "novelty speaking clock" front.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2991932/Stephen-Hawking-unveils-strange-new-way-to-tell-the-time---a-little-late.html

Bonus: Video of the unveiling, courtesy of J...

http://www.truveo.com/New-way-to-tell-time/id/21247497

...and its inventor explaining the clock's workings and background:



Direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHO1JTNPPOU

(Cheers to needcoffee_rss.)

_______________________________

Edit: Let's invent a new word. "Bloggercise". There. Isn't that horrible?



http://www.fashionfunky.com/2008/09/geekacycle_more_for_those_who.php

J. K. Rowling has donated £1m to the Labour Party:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7626589.stm

That'll be Baroness Rowling come the New Year's Honours List, then (she's already got an OBE).


Edit (19/01/2009): It was only brought to my attention today that someone (who shall be nameless, because insects and parasites with ego-fuelled stiffies aren't a pretty sight) took great delight in pointing out Rowling's subsequent lack of an additional New Year's honour.

Yes, I know. Someone needs to take a long, hard look at the "seriousness" quotient of this blog, reconsider their monomania, and get a fucking life, pronto... *Rolls eyes.* (Cheers to D for the amusing heads-up.)

http://www.inquisitr.com/?p=3581

_________________________

Edit: Suitably visual and concise follow-up to this long-winded entry...

http://sensaes.livejournal.com/605001.html



...courtesy of helice.

http://shanty.rendance.org/lyrics/showlyric.php/sailorsalpha

I just sang that at the top of my voice to astartesyriaca.

Very liberating.



I ought to take this eye patch and hat off now. People are starting to notice.

_________________________________________

Edit: Remember that "Ladies Pamper Evening" malarkey? (http://sensaes.livejournal.com/596928.html)

Well, another week, another weird flyer...

This time it's for my local pub, who are having a Spanish Fiesta Weekend. Olé! Not quite sure why the flyer is dominated by a huge photograph of some giant red tomatoes, but hey - it's all for charity. Apparently. ("Ellie is a little girl who has lost part of her arms and legs to meningitis."** All due sympathy to Ellie, but did they have to put it like that? Right under the picture of the big tomatoes? What are they hoping to do - replace the missing bits with some sun-ripened vegetables fruit? Jesus... And don't get on my case for being "surreal" here. Remember - Salvador Dali was Spanish.)

Anyway, it's all kicking off tonight:

Friday Night 19th
Salsa Night and Sponsored waxing of the hairy man.

*Blink.*

Tomorrow's bouncy castle, balloon race, and baby contest ("Fight! Fight! Fight! Go on - use that pacifier! Rip his teddy bear in half!") are going to seem a bit tame after that.

Oh, here we are - an explanation for the photograph: There's a "Tomato Festival" on Sunday, and the tickets for that are £5.

*Blink.*

I don't care how good the cause is, if I'm going to pay five quid to see some bloody tomatoes, they'd better be dancing around poles...

_______________________________________________

Tailnote: It's a bad sign when I end up defending Alan Moore in the comments on a Topless Robot entry...

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/09/alan_moore_says_watchmen_movie_can_feed_birds.php


*http://www.talklikeapirate.com

**As some wily cove has pointed out, for all I know that just means she's had her fingernails and toenails clipped because - and I quote - "the meningitis made them grody". And that's from a doctor. *Pulls Ricky Gervais-style "I don't know what the world's coming to" face.*